Chapter 100 (Draft)

Tenira avoided me after that. I tried, but never managed to get her alone. She was always busy, either talking to someone or in a planning meeting with the others, not just myself. She didn’t make much of an effort to hide it, and I didn’t force the issue.

I could have just summoned her to me and ensured we had a private chat, but I didn’t. I was afraid that being too pushy now would just push her farther away. The most I did was apologize softly at the end of a meeting with Kajare and the head of the Imperial Guard detachment. She nodded and departed quickly, her eyes never rising to meet mine.

I regretted that as I stood on the plank leading to another ship now, about to leave the two of them again for an indefinite time. I glanced back at Tenira, Kajare and Elia, who were here to see me off. Just behind them, I could see the port of a city whose name I wouldn’t be able to pronounce. We’d arranged for a ship to come from there, but I’d actually transfer here, in the open sea, where there were less prying eyes. Kajare and Elia looked dejected, but Tenira’s face was hard to read, locked behind a cold mask.

“Take care of yourselves,” I said.

Kajare nodded. Tenira said, “Of course, my lady.”

I tried not to show any reaction to that. She’d always called me ‘my lady’ occasionally, and I didn’t mind. But lately, she’d used that address as often as my name, if not more so. Putting another bit of distance between us. Well, at least it wasn’t ‘Your Highness’ or ‘Princess Inaris’.

Walking across that plank to the other ship felt like one of the hardest things I’d done, at least in that moment. I didn’t want to leave them, especially not with the looming threat of Hajake and his little conspiracy. But being with them wouldn’t make them any safer, and I needed to trust them to handle themselves, and do their job.

The ship I boarded was definitely a step below theirs in quality. There was nothing obviously broken, but the wood looked weathered, the colors weren’t as bright, and the qi devices seemed simpler and less powerful. It was a small ship, probably almost as quick as the one I’d just left, but with a bit more cargo space. As I came aboard, the captain and first mate greeted me, but the crew went about their business with only the occasional glance at us.

“Show me to my cabin, please,” I said. “Then I’ll let you get back to work.”

The cabin was small and cramped, and the captain left me alone quickly. I knew he and probably the majority of the crew were Imperial soldiers, current or former. All of them were vetted extensively, and Imperial Guard members had been discreetly placed among the crew. Perhaps some agents from Kariva’s organization, too.

The ship started moving right away, and I could sense it leave my companions behind, as theirs pulled into the harbor. I suppressed a sigh. At least I would have some peace and quiet during the journey. A remote outpost to the south of the continent, where I would be out of sight and hopefully out of danger of the events playing out at the front. I didn’t like it, but I knew I needed to lay low, and at least I could still be involved in the decision-making.

And here I was looking forward to being in my own form again. I probably should have known better than to think I was done with disguises. I glanced down through my brown bangs at the new clothes covering my new body. It could be worse.

I closed my eyes and laid down on the bed. It took half an hour of tossing and turning until I finally managed to fall asleep, though. Probably the longest it had since I’d awakened my bloodline. As always, the transition from being awake to asleep was both sharper and softer than before. I knew right away when I’d fallen asleep, since I retained my full awareness, but at first it didn’t feel much different than falling into a daydream.

I almost reached out to search for other minds, but hesitated. There was a lot of work to do, but none of it was urgent. Instead, I focused on my own dream, and recreated the pleasant beach scenario I’d devised before. I let the sensations, imaginary and muted though they might be, wash over me, and drifted into the deepest dream state I could, which was still a lot more like a daydream.

My sense for time while in a dream was never very good, so I didn’t know how long I drifted through sleep. I walked through a collection of sceneries, replayed some memories, tried not to dwell on loneliness or apprehension, and occasionally ventured out to seek out other minds. The shift of who was awake to who was asleep gave me some context on the time, at least.

I only managed to pull myself together for a short visit with Mother. She was busy, of course, so she wouldn’t sleep much, but I appreciated that she still gave me that time, at least.

‘Has something changed with the war?’ I asked, after I related the latest events, minus my personal challenges.

Mother shook her head. This time, we were meeting in a formless gray void, so there was nothing to distract me from her dream-form. ‘Nothing significant. It still drags on. There’s been more rumble of discontent from the nobles, but I’ll deal with it.’

I nodded. ‘And Terbekteri? Have you talked to their King?’

She pulled a face. ‘Yes, briefly. I was careful. He won’t trust me over his own son, alliance or not, so there’s no point in making allegations at this point. But I think I’ve got a good sense of him, and I’ll know how to act when it comes down to it.’

I shook my head, thankful that she was the one who had to deal with the political fallout of Hajake’s betrayal on the international level, and not me. Though, I think she’s cold-blooded enough she’ll leverage this situation into additional concessions for us.

‘It’s good that you’ve made inroads with that princess,’ Mother remarked. ‘With her and the Queen, as your mother-in-law, we have a good in.’

I nodded thoughtfully. ‘There’s no way Hajake did this just because of a perceived humiliation.’ I’d been thinking about this, and that much I would bet on. ‘He wants me out of the way for something. If I had to guess, it has to do with internal Terbekteri politics. Perhaps also to weaken Kajare and his, our our, political allies.’

‘That’s likely,’ Mother agreed. ‘One more reason why having contacts within their power structure is important. We’ll never have the same insight into their inner workings. Speaking of, I have another meeting of the war council now. Take care of yourself, Inaris.’

‘Have fun.’

I drifted out of the dream, feeling it dissolve behind me, and returned to my meanderings.

Time passed, and at some point, the captain came to tell me that we’d reached our destination. Without the need to eat or drink regularly, and when sleeping too much, it was surprisingly difficult to keep track of time. Had it already been days, or was this ship just that fast?

I followed the captain out onto the deck, and looked at the place the ship was rapidly approaching. An island, big enough it could hold a large town, but with steep cliffs and stone walls that turned it into a fortress instead. In the distance, just on the horizon, I could see the southern coast of the Earth Continent. A hundred kilometers further west, I’d get to the bay where we’d first landed on the continent.

I sighed and glanced up at the towering structure. The weather was gloomy and overcast, the threat of a storm coming in over the ocean hanging in the air. I pulled my robe tighter around myself, though I didn’t really need to. I had nothing to pack, just my storage ring. As we came closer, I could sense a few strong presences on the walls above the dock. Imperial Guard, here to protect me, I knew.

I couldn’t help a shiver as I climbed down onto the pier, with the ship’s crew already going about their usual business. An island fortress. Your typical place for a royal exile, self-imposed or otherwise. I guess it makes sense. I don’t feel so good about it, though. Less Tiberius in Capri and more Napoleon in Elba. Not sure what that says about me.

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On the island of Mei, time seemed to pass both fast and slowly at once. I spent more time than I cared to think about wandering the battlements and cliffs, looking north and wondering how Tenira and the others were doing. Hoping I’d be able to meet her in my dreams later on. I never did.

When I wasn’t pacing, I spent most of my time either reading, since I now had my storage ring and its books back, or asleep. There wasn’t much for me to do here. A contingent of Imperial Guard, without their uniforms but not doing much to hide their identity otherwise, made sure of my safety. A few of them were vaguely familiar, but without Aston or any of the people who’d been killed on Hajake’s orders, I didn’t have or form any kind of connection to them.

A few reports found their way to me, but most of my communication passed through dreams. I supposed that made sense; they were both untraceable by conventional means and had no time delay. Even with scheduling people for me to contact at certain times, the logistics were easier.

I still didn’t take much part in what was happening, though. I was too far from the action. Mother didn’t need my help, and Kajare and the others were doing a fine job handling things themselves. Since it was more about trying to find out Hajake’s plans and subtly preparing in case a confrontation occurred, there wasn’t much I could do. Well, short of revealing my survival to our vassals to get them more firmly behind us, but that usually wasn’t worth it.

I was feeling uneasy, and as time passed, the sensation got worse. Like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. It made it hard to get anything done, and while I finally had some time to work on my research and designs, I found it hard to muster the motivation to work on that. At times, the feeling was so acute that I was starting to suspect there was more to it than just normal anxiety and isolation.

I missed the others, more than I would have thought. Especially Yarani, who I hadn’t seen in a while. I couldn’t help but wonder if we would be separated for months.

At least I had my dreamsending power. I met her in her dreams a few times. It wasn’t as good as the real thing, of course, but still something. I always needed a bit of time to cool down after these dreams.

Those went a lot better than most of my other dreams. I only met with Mother once, since she was so busy, with the war and all. She seemed stressed, and we didn’t talk for long. Kariva and the others at the palace I contacted occasionally didn’t tell me much, so I wasn’t sure if it was just normal stress or something more concerning.

The weeks passed, and I’d almost settled into a routine. A bland, gray routine, with no more light than the seemingly perpetually storm-ridden sea. But it was comforting, in a way.

I shook my head and stared out at the ocean for what should be the last time, then moved my eyes to the airship hovering above the fortress. It was just starting to set down on the upper courtyard. From my position at the highest vantage point on the island, I had a good view, and I’d be down there in a flash. The airship wasn’t big or luxurious, or even remarkable at all. It would serve well to get me away from here, though.

It was supposed to bring me back to the mainland. Where my friends had been preparing for things to come to a head, and where I could finally resume a more active role in the war effort.

The problem was that I didn’t want to. Just the thought filled me with unease. My connection to Rijoko sat in my head like a stone, heavy and hard, but it didn’t respond to my prompting.

If I didn’t take care, my eyes would wander, out over the open ocean, the way I’d come weeks ago. I felt an almost electric charge, like a magnet was pulling me in that direction.

I need to be there. The thought was my own, but not quite of my own volition. I knew that. Rijoko’s influence was the clearest I’d ever felt it, except that day at the Zarian fortress, after Hajake left me for dead.

I didn’t know if my father wanted me back on the Sky Continent for a reason, or if he simply didn’t want me on the Earth Continent. For whatever might be about to happen there. In the end, it might not make much of a difference.

The question was, what did I do? His influence wasn’t so big that I couldn’t defy it. He was the Moon, and it was guidance, not force. How to act remained my choice.

I shook my head, ripped my eyes from the ocean, and turned back to the interior of the fortress. A few steps and pushes, and I made my way down the cliff and stairs, walking to the airship. A group of guards was assembling here, another already boarded.

The captain turned and bowed as I approached. He was an old man that looked like he’d be more comfortable in a military uniform than the bland civilian clothes he was wearing, like almost everyone here. “Your Highness,” he greeted me. “Are we to set off for Earthhaven now?”

I slowly walked past him and onto the ramp. “No. I’ve changed the plan.”

“Your Highness?”

I took a deep breath. “Set a different course, captain. I’m going back to the Sky Continent.”

I hope this wasn’t the wrong choice, but when the basically-deity of wisdom and guidance gives you a hint, you’d be stupid to ignore it.

At least I’d see my family again.